Loose Gravel's Kinda Bad Ass Blog

I was most excited about Driver’s Ed in high school because they had driving simulators! It was an antiquated system even by 1990′s standards. A film reel circa 1976 was projected in front of the students who sat at a steering wheel. Lights would flash when the proper maneuvers weren’t executed at the proper time. How exciting!

In an effort to update the website with a new game I’ve spent the last two days laboring around the internet. Hour after grueling hour I played tested hundreds of flash games to find something to make your day better. One of the better games I came across was one where the player must grab a digital man by his digital parts and chuck him down the stairs. It’s a falling-down-the-stairs simulator! How exciting! (Interesting office conversation: Points are scored through injuries. Is it better to have a high score or a low score? Same applies to current homepage game.)
Thanks to simulators I would feel perfectly nervous yet reasonably capable if I needed to land an airliner. In fact there are simulators now for almost everything. Train engineer simulator (look, trees), assassin simulators, zombie infection simulator (http://kevan.org/proce55ing/zombies/), even life simulators. How very lucky are we that we can defy death doing horribly dangerous activities from the comfort of our office chairs? All these learned skills may actually be able to help us some day if for instance we needed to assassinate the leader of a drug cartel, escape a zombie or fall down stairs.

What could prove to be the most useful, life-saving simulator, apparently has not yet been made. My exhaustive search proved fruitless as I have been completely unable to find a bear-attack simulator. For shame.